Id hate for you to remain on the egde of your seats – so here’s what happened on San Remo last night. Four and a half hours of live tv, with in no particular order –
1. a woman who might be pregnant in a black dress
2. A mediocre song which might be plagiarising James Taylor
3. A mediocre song which is plagiarising someone else
4. Rufus Wainwright not singing Gay Messiah but something else
5. Old singers who are so old they have to sit down
6. An evening of ‘nostalgia’ which basically means cheap acts who were hugely grateful that their agent rang with a job.
At 1 am it mercifully came to an end.